


Treasure

by red_camellia



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst, Fluff, I'm sorry I don't want to give anything away so i hardly tag anything specific, M/M, Mermaids, Romance, Supernatural Elements, a bit of fantasy, because I am that kind of trash bag, mermaid au, potc inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-13 18:21:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11765697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_camellia/pseuds/red_camellia
Summary: Set in the 18th century: Jongdae doesn't believe in fairy tales, especially not in the stories of sailor's. But Minseok, a young sailor, firmly believes in them and tells Jongdae about mermaids. Just as they are getting closer, Jongdae experiences in a way he had not thought possible that there might be some truth in those stories.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> so I've written this story quite a while ago but stumbled upon it recently and decided to post it  
> the Mermaid song is from Pirates of the Caribbean 4 and this song was kind of my inspiration for this story
> 
> * I do not own the lyrics of the song so pls don't sue me  
> The link to the full scene and song is in chapter 2

1742: autumn

It was a cool morning when the little family left their home.  
The father, a successful merchant, had planed to move to the mainland with his family. A small ship with the crew and a few other passengers was already waiting at the harbor. Terada, a teacher with a grim face – Jongdae had often seen him at the market – and two other men whom Jongdae only knew by sight. His little sister was clinging to her mother’s dress when they boarded the ship and Jongdae overheard a few words by the seamen.

        „Brings ill luck… to ‘ave a god damn woman on board”.

Jongdae wanted to turn around, when his father shoved him ahead. If everything went well the journey would take 3 days but Jongdae couldn’t help worrying about a storm although he had the odd feeling that something would happen if he worried too much. The crew made him feel uneasy and their superstitious talking angered Jongdae. He couldn’t believe that they seriously thought the sea goddess Calypso herself would send them a storm or mermaids would attack them. No, Jongdae did fear a storm, but a realistic, normal storm at sea. Believing in mermaids and fairytales… how absurd.

The first day was calm and Jongdae’s sister started to enjoy watching the waves and the wide horizon. She sat outside all day long and looked at the waters. Jongdae noticed how a young boy from the crew scowled at her and muttered that something was wrong with her. Jongdae’s mother sat with her daughter every now and then, they say side by side with their long black hair waving in the wind. Jongdae’s father thought them extraordinarily beautiful and wished he had asked a painter to accompany them so he could paint them just like that. But as the sun had set, Jongdae’s mother suddenly felt ill and her face turned pale. She lay in bed and spoke of unbearable pain and a voice that no one else seemed to hear. On the second day Jongdae spotted dark clouds approaching them rather fast, although the steersman had claimed the next day would just be as calm.

         “Brings ill luck to have a woman on board”, he said repeating the others’ words.

The storm reached them on the afternoon of the second day and the two other passengers got seasick. The crew was fighting for hours to make sure that the ship wouldn’t keel over. It was hard to see in the darkness, and Jongdae thought they wouldn’t make it, when the storm finally calmed. At the first daylight of the third day, dark clouds still racked over the ship, but the ship wasn’t being tossed through the waves anymore, Jongdae’s mother passed in the sudden silence after the storm.

         “See, the girl dies and the storm immediately stops”, one of the crew murmured.

Jongdae still couldn’t believe that his beloved mother had died so suddenly and didn’t want to hear such words. It took the rest of the crew, his father and Terada to pull Jongdae and the seaman apart. Jongdae was sent to his cabin and was locked up. The storm had brought them off course and it would take another 3 days to the mainland.

         “Mark my words, the little girl should disappear, too…. Only then we’re safe”, a boy from the crew whispered outside Jongdae’s cabin to another crew member, who agreed quietly. Jongdae clenched his fists when he heard them talking outside.

But his father didn’t seem to hear them and didn’t notice that his daughter might be in danger. He stayed with his dead wife in a cabin for hours and Jongdae didn’t want to hear either how they were saying he was going crazy because of grief. Jongdae’s little sister didn’t seem to notice their talking either, Jongdae wasn’t quite sure if she had understood that her mother had died. But she continued to sit on deck, the wind playing with her heavy hair. That day she was singing quietly a song:

„Come all you pretty fair maids  
whoever you may be  
who love a jolly sailor  
that plows the raging sea”.

Before Jongdae could even call her name, one of the crew members had stormed forward, his face contorted with anger. “Cursed song! Cursed girl!”, he screamed and Jongdae couldn’t do anything but watch how his sister was grabbed and after a short struggle, thrown over railing. The waves were splashing so loudly against the ship that he could barely make out the sound of her hitting the waves. Jongdae pushed the crew members and Terada out of his way and jumped right after her into the icy waves of the ocean. His body was twitching and his arms went numb and heavy from the cold, he couldn’t think. The salt water burnt in his eyes and throat. His sister was not far away, but he couldn’t see properly. There was just a dark shadow wrapping itself around her. Jongdae suppressed a cry when something passed him by. Sharks, was his first thought when he saw a fish tail. Then he felt strong arms grabbing him from behind around his chest and he couldn’t see anything anymore. For a moment he thought he heard someone singing, why on earth would his sister sing? But maybe he was already starting to hallucinate because of the lack of oxygen. He wanted to shake off the arms and swim back to the surface, but he couldn’t tell up from down and the arms suddenly let go off him.

Something sharp hit Jongdae – had he been bitten or stung? The singing and the rushing sound in his ears faded out.  
Jongdae was being pulled out of the water by another pair of arms, he was coughing and Jongdae had a pungent scent in his nose, his body was aching as if he had been set on fire. There was absolute darkness – he couldn’t see. But he heard the crew and somewhere between them his father screaming and maybe it was his own voice screaming, too.

When Jongdae woke up, the sun was shining and his body felt as if he was recovering from a heavy illness. Many voices and strange scents surrounded him, when he turned his head, he saw that he was lying on a stretcher. They had reached the mainland and were at a harbor.

 

1749, spring:

Jongdae put the pen aside. He had to be grateful for Terada taking care of him. His father had never overcome the cruel loss of his wife and daughter, and after 2 years he had stopped working and disappeared every evening in a pub at the harbor. One day he simply didn’t return and Jongdae had been left alone, with the little bit of leftover money that his father hadn’t spent on alcohol. He had been left alone in a strange country.  
But Terada had taken care of Jongdae under the condition of becoming his student and putting a lot of effort into his studies. Jongdae was not alone anymore, Terada was teaching a lot of boys in Jongdae’s age, but Jongdae couldn’t stand those aloof boys. No one of them would ever understand his deep sorrow that never let go of him and made him silent and distant at day and kept him awake at night.  
Jongdae went back to the harbor as well, but not to the pubs, but to the fisher’s boats. A boy of his age was working there and he was kind. For weeks they had just smiled at each other until they finally one of them had spoken to the other. The boy's name was Minseok.  
They became friends and soon they explored the city together. Minseok taught him a ton of useful seamen-tricks and he knew all the short cuts of the city. Minseok. The boy with a broad smile, who never wore shoes and ran barefooted through the city, because he had once known a man who had found a scorpion in his shoe and had died because he had been stung. He had no parents either and never asked Jongdae about his parents.  
He liked Minseok a lot, more than he had ever liked anyone else, but Jongdae could barely remember ever having a close friend so there was not much comparison. But Jongdae couldn’t speak of his past not even with Minseok. He was superstitious as every other seaman, too. Jongdae had tried to tell him, but Minseok had immediately started to tell him all the myths of the sea. But Jongdae didn’t want to hear about creatures of the deep and darkness, maybe he was scared that his sister could actually have been eaten by a sea monster. Minseok however had noticed that it scared Jongdae and had stopped with his scary stories and told him all the funny ones, and he was a great story teller. It was thanks to him that Jongdae believed he could be happy again. Minseok made him laugh, he was so full of positive energy, something Jongdae had lost on his way to the mainland. Minseok had big dreams and he entrusted them with Jongdae.

         “Being at the sea, like… forever. On board of a big ship. There is nothing better“, Minseok said beaming at Jongdae.

Jongdae couldn’t really feel the same way, he couldn’t imagine being on a constant journey, having no proper home and solid ground under his feet. But Jongdae never said it out loud, he didn’t want to fight with Minseok. Secretly Jongdae was scared every time Minseok went aboard with the other fishermen to work, he feared he wouldn’t return. The sea had taken more than enough people dear to him. One day it slipped past his lips. Minseok looked at him with this glowing gaze that reminded Jongdae of drowning.

          “Come with me”, Minseok said. Jongdae had to gulp hard.

          “I can’t. Terada will never let me go”, he murmured and looked away, still feeling Minseok’s look on him as if he was touching him.

          “I don’t know if we will return this time”, Minseok said then. But it was more than clear, they wouldn’t.

          “I don’t want to lose you, but…”, Jongdae said quietly. He looked up when Minseok reached out his hands to carefully take Jongdae’s.

          “Then run away with me. Secretly”.

His words gave Jongdae an odd tingling feeling and another glowing gaze of Minseok’s was enough to convince him. Back to the sea, back to the grave of his mother and sister. And so Jongdae grabbed his few things he owned and ran away at night from his new home.

 

Minseok awaited him at the harbor and brushed away any of Jongdae’s doubts when he took his hands and pulled him abroad. “I knew you would come… how could I have left without you?”, he whispered.

No one asked who Jongdae was and why he accompanied them, he was accepted silently. And they left the harbour of the main land towards the open sea before the sun rose.

          “Where are we headed to? You spoke of a group of islands in the south”, Jongdae asked. Minseok nodded and pressed his fingers on to his lips.

          “I can show you the map”, he whispered and pulled Jongdae down to the cabins.

          “They keep the maps there”, he breathed into Jongdae’s ear. Gazing right and left, they both slipped into the said room.

          “There”, Minseok said quietly. A yellowed old map was rolled out on the table. Minseok pointed at an island chain far south from Jongdae’s home island.

          “What… is that?”, Jongdae asked hesitant and pointed at a rock formation and odd creatures that had been painted between waves.

Minseok stroked over the old parchment and his fingers carefully followed their sea route. They would reach the rock formation within the next days.

          “A dangerous place”, Minseok said. “Mermaids”, he said slowly and pointed at the odd creatures. Jongdae suppressed a groan of disbelief.

          “You’ll see… but don’t forget to cover your ears when we pass through their hunting grounds”, Minseok added with a scowl. Jongdae sighed. “Why?”

          “They’re sitting there… and they will cast a spell over you. They have beautiful hair and faces like goddesses. When they start singing, you’ve lost”, Minseok said.

Jongdae remembered his younger sister sitting on deck with her beautiful long black hair, singing. He shivered; the crew had believed his sister to be a mermaid. Jongdae flinched when he felt something on his arm. Minseok grabbed his arm. “Let’s go back”.

Jongdae nodded and they left the map room. Jongdae’s eyes were however fixed on the painted creatures on the map, while they closed the door.

          “Why are they dangerous?”, he asked when they were back on deck. Minseok gazed around to make sure no one was listening.

          “They lure you into the water with their singing and… and then they will eat you”, he said and shivered.

          “They eat humans?”, Jongdae pressed out. Minseok nodded.

          “They bewitch seamen because of their anger and hate and then pull you into the waters”, Minseok explained.

The why was written all over Jongdae’s face, but he didn’t ask. There couldn’t possibly be a reason, but the one that they were cruel creatures of the sea. On the other hand, Jongdae had been sure that they didn’t even exist and it was all just the tales of drunk seamen. A flock of screaming gulls passed them by over their heads and the waves splashed gently against their ship. When Jongdae turned around he noticed how Minseok was staring at him. For a moment Minseok didn’t even notice how Jongdae eyed him with a puzzled look.

         “What is it?”, Jongdae asked and Minseok averted his eyes quickly. “I was thinking…ah, nothing”, he said hasty.

Jongdae soon began to understand why Minseok called the sea his home. There was a strange fascination of how the waves parted and the setting sun sank into the ocean and the stars reflected in the quiet waters. And so he sat daily on deck and stared at the sea and at the horizon. “How small one is in this big world”, Jongdae said one night. Minseok was lying outstretched next to him, gazing into the night sky.

         “I was wondering if we were close to the route we took when we left for the main land… Is the sea still the same like back then?”, Jongdae murmured more to himself than to Minseok. Is she still here, he wanted to ask but didn’t dare to say it out loud.

         “Tell me more about the mermaids”, Jongdae said. Minseok turned his head to look at him.

         “I thought you didn’t believe in them”, Minseok said. Jongdae sighed.  
  
         “Maybe…”, he murmured. “Is it a bad omen to sing?”, he asked then.

         Minseok frowned. “What do you mean?”

         Jongdae thought of his sister. “A lullaby for example”, Jongdae suggested.

 

A gentle smile played around the corners of Minseok’s mouth and without looking away Jongdae started singing. Minseok had the same glowing gaze in his eyes when they had run away and Jongdae slowly leaned closer to Minseok. Suddenly a strange desire which he couldn’t explain, overcame him. His voice faded away until Minseok’s lips were only a breath away. A loud splashing sound burst their bubble and they quickly pulled away when steps approached quickly.

         “It’s ‘em”, someone whispered.

Jongdae looked at Minseok, who was trembling and had his eyes fixed on the dark water. “Why do mermaids eat seamen? Why are they so angry?”, Jongdae asked quietly. Minseok gave him an odd look.

         “They want revenge. They once were women who were seen as bad luck and had been thrown overboard”, Minseok whispered.

Jongdae’s heart skipped a beat and slowly looked at the dark water, where he spotted the rock formation from the map. The crew was anxious because something was moving around the ship.

         “No worries”, a coarse voice said. The captain was standing behind them with a serious look on his face. “They won’t attack us. They do not approach big ships, they hunt small boats. Let’s hope that they won’t follow us”, he said.

 

         “But we’ll soon have to fill up our drinking water supply”, a young boy from the crew said.

He was way younger than Jongdae, maybe at the age when Jongdae arrived at the mainland.

 

        “That is right, we’re short on our drinking water supply”, the keeper of the maps said. “We’re not far away from a small island where we can fill up our supplies”, he added.

        “That’s why I said I hope they won’t follow us”, the captain said and frowned. “Is there another island? This one is too close to them”, he asked.

 

The keeper of the maps shook his head. “We wouldn’t make it to the next one”.

 

And so the fear and anxiety stayed with them through the night like a parasite that tortured everyone so no one could sleep. Whenever Jongdae drifted into a light sleep, pictures of his sister haunted him and a voice… a breathy voice sung into is ear. Hadn’t his mother spoken of a voice that had haunted her? Jongdae was getting more and more anxious and wasn’t sure if he could stay on board of this ship, but leaving the ship with the crew to fill up their supplies didn’t sound all too great either.

         “Not everyone will be leaving. Three boats will be enough”, the captain said and decided on the men who would leave to fill up their supplies.

Minseok and Jongdae were amongst them. Minseok had red swollen eyes, but Jongdae didn’t dare to ask him any more questions, they hadn’t talked since their almost kiss. Jongdae wasn’t sure if Minseok was avoiding his eyes because of their intimate moment or if his fear of the mermaids had blocked out everything else.  
But when they climbed into the small boats the next morning, everything was calm and peaceful. 8 men stayed back onboard, the rest rowed quietly towards the small island ahead. The sunrise had announced a clear day, but just as they had started approaching the island, thin fog had risen. The sun colored the fog in an eerie red and Jongdae flinched when he felt someone taking his arm. But it was just Minseok holding onto him, he didn’t look at him however. A cool breeze got Jongdae’s hackles standing up and he started sweating. He felt sick and every time the paddles splashed into the water, he thought he had heard a fin cutting through the water. Mermaids, women that had been thrown overboard… he had jumped after her. Memories flooded his mind; that weird splashing sound, the sharp pain, not being able to breathe…

         “What is that?”

Jongdae looked up, his head still feeling heavy. The voice that had haunted him in his sleep seemed to be audible for the others as well.

         “Cover your ears”, Minseok screamed in panic. But then it was quiet and the only sound was the quick breath of the young man next to Jongdae.

A gentle splash. Silence.  
Sweat rolled down between Jongdae’s shoulder blades. When he turned his face towards Minseok, he saw that Minseok’s eyes were glowing again. Just like they had when he had persuaded Jongdae to run away with him, but this time this gaze was not meant for him, but a young woman who was holding onto the rim of their boat. She was beyond beautiful and smiled almost shy. Just one… its’s just one, Jongdae thought, when another splash announced the arrival of another beautiful woman. And soon their boats were circled by 8 mermaids. His thoughts were racing and his body was trembling. Did he get a fever or was it the influence of the mermaids? One of them leaned onto the boat, her skin was as white as a pearl and almost glowed.

         “Is it you?”, she asked quietly.

Jongdae shivered and turned around. Her silken hair flowed like water over her shoulder disappearing in the water. Between the waves Jongdae spotted her long tail fin. “Is it you?”, she repeated with her soft voice. The young man she was smiling at, nodded stupidly.

          “O-Of course”, he stuttered, while she raised her hand and caressed his face.

 

„Come all you pretty fair maids  
whoever you may be  
who love a jolly sailor  
that plows the raging sea”.

 

Jongdae’s body started to tremble uncontrollably and the same desire that had overcame him when he had sung for Minseok crushed him again. The boat swayed when the young man leaned closer to the singing mermaid. And slowly, very slowly she pulled him into the water. Bubbles of air popped on the surface, his legs were twitched until they disappeared underwater.

 

„A merchant's daughter fairAnd I have left my parents  
And three thousand pounds a year”.

The voice was directly behind Jongdae and his body went numb, his mind was foggy. His body didn’t react when Minseok was pulled away from his side. Why did he know that song? Why was it responding to the desire inside him? There was no mermaid pulling or hypnotizing him, but he slowly glided into the water by himself. He had to save his sister, he had to bring her back… no, Minseok. He had to save Minseok. But his mind was foggy and his body was aching. As soon as the waves closed above his head, all air vanished from his lungs, his legs hurt so badly, he thought they were being pressed together by someone’s harsh grip.  
The mermaids’ voices were still echoing inside his head and Jongdae thought his head would explode when the voices suddenly faded away and he didn’t know if his chest was hurting because he couldn’t breathe or because he was filled with an incredible sadness.  
His sight cleared and he saw the mermaid holding Minseok not far away from him, she had wrapped her arms tightly around him, but he was fighting against her. His legs trying to kick her, were jerking wildly. Jongdae reached out his arms and he shot forward through the water. He grabbed Minseok and pulled him out of her arms. He felt how Minseok tried to shake him off as well, but then lost the strength. In his eyes however Jongdae saw that Minseok recognized him, before he fainted.

The pain in his legs had stopped and the salt water wasn’t burning his throat and eyes anymore. Jongdae didn’t know how long he had swum, but he pulled Minseok above the water and was relieved that he was still breathing. When he looked at Minseok in his arms, a pain as sharp as being shot right into the heart hit him and Jongdae had to suppress a scream. Jongdae pushed the pain away, fighting hard and continued to swim until he reached an island. The fog had long cleared, but his mind was still a foggy chaos. He heaved Minseok onto a small jetty and the boy coughed heavily. He slowly came to his sense and turned to find Jongdae behind him. He panted Jongdae’s name between coughs, his blood-shot eyes still glowing. They almost looked wild and then slowly fear mixed into them, anger… disbelief… disappointment.  
The pain in Jongdae’s chest grew almost unbearable by now.

         “You sung… to bewitch me…! Your… lullaby… YOU! You have… how could”, Minseok panted coughing.

         “I’ve brought you to a safe island. Away from them”, Jongdae said weakly.

His voice had changed, it was deeper, softer… But Minseok’s eyes widened and he crawled backwards, away from him until he somehow managed to get onto his feet and stumbled away. This time Jongdae couldn’t run away with him, because now he was the one bound to the sea. His tail fin was swayed gently forth and back while the pain made him go almost insane.

         “He left you”, a familiar voice whispered.

The mermaid with the silky black hair had followed him. It wasn’t necessary to ask, he had recognized her voice immediately to know that he had found his sister.

         “Does it hurt?”, she asked gently.

Jongdae nodded and she reached out her hand. Jongdae took her hand and look down on himself for the first time. His sight and mind were clear by now. The water felt comfortably warm now and was caressing him gently. He had known it as soon as he had gotten into the water, but he hadn’t wanted to believe it. The tail fin however was there and breathing was easy underwater.

Although her voice was gentle there was a dark and evil undertone. And when Jongdae looked at her, her eyes glowed darkly.

         “Come”, she said and Jongdae followed her.

         “Where are we going?” he asked. A school of fish swam past them and beneath them Jongdae saw rocks and corals.

         “Home”, she said. “Joining the others?” Jongdae asked. But she shook her head.

         "Oh, no. We might hunt together but everyone lives on their own. We call each other when one has found a nice little boat with people. That’s it”, she explained.

         “But why am I -?” Jongdae finally asked. He could still not believe what had happened and yet it felt so natural to swim with a fin instead of his legs.

         “You jumped after me”, she said slowly. Her black eyes glowed like coals.

         "You were bitten and as you have returned to the waters just now you transformed“, she explained.

         “Bitten?” Jongdae muttered and touched the nape of his neck.

 

Back then he had thought a shark had attacked him or he had been stung by something. He had slept for days and his body had burned and hurt just like it had when he had transformed.

        “What is this pain? You feel it, too, don’t you?” he asked and touched his chest.

        “Ah, haven’t we all been betrayed and left behind? We have no other choice but to search forever”, she said. Her hair was floating like a black cloud around her head.

        “What do you mean?” he asked and his throat closed up.

        “I’ve still got something left. You’ll feel better”, she said and swam down to the rocks. Jongdae spotted a small opening through which he followed her hesitantly.

 

He swam into an underwater cave and apparently this was the home she had spoken about. At the far back of the cave something had been tied up with long strands of algae. It was one of the men from the boat, or at least what was left of him. Jongdae felt revolted and attracted at the same time.

       “Just let it happen. Your body knows what it wants”, she said calmly.

Jongdae’s body was trebling and suddenly he understood the terrible desire that had been crushing him for days. It was a desire to bite and still his thirst. The pain faded when his sharp teeth found their target. It was an ecstatic rush and he could no longer control himself. An animalistic sound came past his lips and although his hands had not held onto the men very tightly, they broke under his grip.

Once Jongdae’s mind cleared, he turned to his sister.

        “I have to go back”, he said determined. Her smile was a bit too understanding.

        “Well, you can’t”, she said and looked down at his fin. “Is there even someone like me? Do they exist? Mermen, I mean?“ he pressed out.

        "Sure, you are one of them“, she said. “The ones I know only hunt young females or collect treasures. But I can tell you prefer to hunt… men”, she said and tilted her head.

        “We all look for redemption and yet we’re not looking for it”, she added. “Is it you? Are you then one I’m looking for?” she imitated disdainfully her own siren call.  
        “That’s what they want to hear, chosen by a mermaid. You shall be the one who will save me!”

In her rage her features changed and Jongdae hardly recognized her anymore. She resembled more the monster that Minseok had been so scared of. Maneater…  
Minseok’s glowing gaze. Had he been right?  
Had this moment on deck never happened, had he only bewitched Minseok with his singing?

        “They are all the same! And true love which may save us – that’s the thing which doesn’t exist”, his sister shouted.

Her features calmed and her face looked once more like a human being.

 

While Jongdae listened to her stories about mermaids he looked out of the cave. The low sun was turning the waters into a deep mix of orange and red. The desire and the pain would never stop and Jongdae knew that he would never have to ask if he met a sailor. He knew whom he was looking for and he learnt that merpeople could not cry.

  
And so he had to bear with the pain – in silence.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here the song with the scene from Pirates of the Caribbean which inspired this story:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R--FtzSx2o 
> 
> * Thank you for your kudos!! *

Called by the song of other mermaids Jongdae learnt to hunt. He sang with them and the first surprise and astonishment in the eyes of the sailors when they saw a young boy with the mermaids turned into glowing gazes that reminded Jongdae too much of Minseok.

Nothing and no one could ease his pain. He was haunted by Minseok in his dreams and soon Jongdae could hardly remember having been a human being and he wasn’t sure anymore whether Minseok really existed.  
It was like the life of someone else. The boy who had been sitting on deck of a ship and had looked yearning at the horizon and the wide ocean was gone. Now he was sitting on a rock, the waves playing with his fin and he was gazing at the beach. Full of desire and yearning.

„My heart is pierced by Cupid  
I disdain all glittering gold  
There is nothing can console me  
But my jolly sailor bold”.

 

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw someone at the beach. The person was familiar and yet a stranger. Jongdae continued singing until the young man at the beach saw him and walked hypnotised into the waves. He started swimming towards Jongdae and came closer and closer. His features were similar to Minseok but although his memories were quickly fading, he knew that this man was not the one he was looking for.  
If he had lived ashore despite having been bitten, could he possible return to the land?

The young man in his arms had died so quickly and had hardly stilled his desire. He let him drop into the waters and with quick beats of his fin he swam close to the beach. A new thought and desire in his mind. The ocean had become his home but he missed the land more than ever before. And he knew that this was a desire and yearning his sister and the other mermaids did not share.

He could hardly swim in the shallow water, he had to pull himself onto the beach with his arms. He rolled over into the wet sand and continued rolling and pushing until he reached the dry hot sand. His body felt incredibly heavy ashore. The air was thin and he could hardly breathe, his fin weighed him down so much his back was hurting.  
But nothing happened. Jongdae had not been surprised, merpeople often left the water to sit on a rock or the like. But it was usually only for short periods of time.

The sun was burning down as it was noon. It was summer and the hot air was pressing down onto his chest. He closed his eyes and sighed. He was about to give up and return to the sea when the sigh got caught in his throat. His body began burning up and he lay paralysed in the hot sand and couldn’t move. A scream pushed past his lips and in the distance he saw two mermaids emerge from the waters. It was different from his transformation into a merman. It felt like the sun had set fire to his body. If this should really transform him back into a human being, he was not sure whether he would even survive it. The pain robbed him of all his senses and he screamed until suddenly everything turned black.

 

When Jongdae opened his eyes, he realised that he was still alive and he had fainted. He turned his head and the room flipped over. Everything spun in front of his eyes… But he was no longer at the beach. He ignored the headache and sat up. Then as he remembered what had happened he ripped the blanket covering his body off. And there they were, two legs, no fin. He touched his legs and slowly moved them. They felt a bit heavy and weak, but they were back and he was human once more. Relieved Jongdae got up but his weak legs could not carry him and he dropped to his knees which bruised.  
       

       “Careful, son!”

Jongdae looked up and saw an elderly man with an indulgent smile.

       “Don’t worry, I’m a doctor. You have been washed ashore… must have been a terrible ship wreck”. Jongdae stared at him.

        “I – no – Minseok”, Jongdae stuttered and then his throat closed up painfully.

He wondered in what kind of state he had been found and how much time had passed since then. The man looked at him.

       “You weren’t alone? A friend of yours?“ he asked calmly.

       „Yes“, Jongdae wanted to say but no sound came past his lips. So he just nodded.

The doctor told him to lay down again and promised to check the beach again for others who might have been washed ashore. Jongdae however wanted to ask about a small jetty and a certain boy. But then he remembered that it must have been weeks or months since he had brought Minseok to the island.  
He found a music box lying on the small wooden table next to his bed. It was one of the few things which Jongdae had taken with him onto his journey. He had always carried it with him in a little bag made of cloth on his hip. But during his transformation his clothes had vanished… had they reappeared when he had turned back into a human?  
He heard voices from the room next to his.

       “Yes… very weak… he doesn’t speak – no surprise. The storm yesterday was horrible”.

Jongdae stared at the door and wished he could ask where he was and how much time had passed. The voices went quiet and Jongdae pushed himself out of the bed. Half crawling and stumbling he dragged himself through the room until he got a bit of a feeling back into his legs. Then he held onto the wall for support and pushed the door open. He followed the corridor until he made his way outside. The beach where he had dragged himself ashore was lying just in front of him. He concluded that in the evening of the day he had dragged himself back to land there had been a terrible storm and he had been found the next day. The doctor had assumed that he had been washed ashore. Jongdae walked over the sand and it felt wonderful to curl his toes into the warm and moist sand. But he paid a lot of attention to not get too close to the water while he kept looking for a small wooden jetty. The one to which he had brought Minseok. He missed the water almost as much as he missed his voice and thought he was leading a cursed life. Forever yearning for the thing he could never have, damned to yearn for the land when he was in the waters and yearning for the waters when he was ashore. Chasing the one who could bring him peace and save his damned soul.

He stayed for two weeks with the doctor but his voice did not return. And he walked the beach every single day without fail and sometimes he even walked around the beach at nighttime. He was restless and he missed the lightness of his body when he had been in water. The desire and pain in his pain had not stopped with his transformation and reminded him constantly of his curse.  
But he could not find Minseok or the jetty in the small village. He could not ask anyone and most people could not read and Jongdae was not good enough at drawing that anyone would have recognized his paintings of Minseok. Jongdae however did not give up, driven by the burning pain, he kept walking and walking, showing people his notes and drawings until he knew every single fisher family of the village. After two weeks he left the doctor to search the rest of the island for Minseok. Somehow he was convinced that this was the very island to which he had brought Minseok. He paid his stay with the doctor by copying manuscripts for the doctor. The doctor had deemed Jongdae as safe and reliable especially since he did not speak and was able to write well.

After leaving the doctor, Jongdae hardly slept and ate anymore. His obsession took over him and drove him to search every waking minute for Minseok until he finally found the small wooden jetty. Upon finding it he could hardly believe it, but he recognized it at once. He immediately set off to question the villagers but Jongdae found hardly anyone who was able to read. The landlord of an inn kicked him out angrily for being too persistent. A cook of another inn threw Jongdae out just as rudely. No one wanted to help and so Jongdae spent his days sitting at the jetty and drew Minseok’s face. He kept drawing other things as well to improve his drawing skills. He tried to keep his memories from fading by drawing Minseok’s face again and again.

       “A friend? He didn’t seem to have even one coin to pay for a drawing of himself”, an old woman said behind Jongdae.

Jongdae whirled around and saw an old woman who was repairing a fisher’s net. He lifted the picture and pointed at it.

       “Oh yes, I know him. Of course, he slept in our kitchen for a while“, she said and nodded.

       “WHERE?” he wrote onto one of the yellowed parchments which he had taken with him from the doctor.

Most of them were covered with other questions about Minseok. The old woman laughed.

        “Joined a crew. They thought they’ll make it to Tortuga! Ha! They’re not getting anywhere with that little boat. Becoming pirates… young boys are full of stupid ideas“, she said. Jongdae jumped to his feet.

        “They’re meeting in that pub over there”, she said and pointed at a very poorly constructed wooden house near the beach. Jongdae smiled at her and then turned around to run towards the pub. His heart was beating fast and his chest was burning worse than ever before. Could his body feel that Minseok was close?

He entered the pub. It was dim inside and dusty. A few old sailors were sitting at the bar and were drinking silently. That was odd, sailors were usually rather loud and told stories when drinking. But Jongdae quickly found the reason for the silence. A man was sitting in a dark corner and his appearance made Jongdae anxious. Pirate, he thought immediately. He wanted to leave, now that he saw that Minseok was not here but the bartender spoke to him: “Whatcha want ‘ere?”

Jongdae flinched and showed him the picture. The man laughed roughly.

        “Can’ believe it. Is Min, innit?“ he growled and then pointed to the man in the corner. “Ask ‘im. Min’s wiv ‘im”, he said then.

Jongdae slowly approached the man in the corner and showed him the picture. The man did not react and Jongdae was hesitant to touch him but he carefully touched his shoulder. The fabric of his shirt was bad and thin and Jongdae could feel the man’s skin underneath. For a second the burning in his chest took over and Jongdae had almost bared his teeth to sink them into the man’s flesh but then the moment was over and the pirate looked up. He seemed to have slept. Jongdae was trying hard to control his breathing while the man took Minseok’s picture from him.

        “Min”, he muttered. His breath smelled strongly of alcohol and something else that caused Jongdae headaches. “Your friend? You’re one of them?” he asked quietly.

Jongdae nodded slightly but then the pirate jumped to his feet. He drew a knife so quickly that Jongdae could not react and was thrown backwards against the wall, the knife slightly brushing his arm but only cutting his shirt.

         “ROBBED ME, THOSE BRATS! IS MY SHIP! THEY TOOK IT! I’M GONNA CUT THEIR THROATS!“ he roared.

Jongdae could feel the knife being pressed against his throat and the rusty metal was burning like fire although he had not been cut yet. It drove Jongdae insane and his body moved of its own. He grabbed the pirate and pushed him away so harshly that he crashed into the table.

         “Took my ship, those brats. Storm will have killed them. Punishment for running away with my ship“, he murmured and looked up.

He pulled himself up to full length and with a quick movement he slashed at Jongdae, but before he could cut him he had touched Jongdae with his other hand. And the touch of his bare skin caused Jongdae to lose every last bit of control. The deep instinct of sinking his teeth into the man took over. But the pirate stopped in his movements and then started screaming. He toppled over and fled. There was a metal board in the wall with crooked writing and clearly old but in it Jongdae could see his reflection. He just caught how his features returned to looking human again and the black eyes without any white were just going back to normal again. His heart was hammering against his chest when he left the pub. The other sailors had ignored their fight, trying not to get involved. Minseok was already gone, he had left the land. He was on a ship on his way to Tortuga. He could only follow him with another ship. But he could not risk to touch the ocean’s salt water. He had to meet Minseok in his human form, he could not risk transforming again. And he was not sure if he would survive those pains again.  
But the sky was cloudy and no ship would leave for the next few days. With a sinking feeling Jongdae thought of Minseok. Would he and his crew survive on the ocean?

Jongdae spent the night in the kitchen of the old woman he had met at the jetty. As payment he wrote her a letter to her son and included a drawing of the village. Jongdae was lying on the same space that Minseok had slept at for the last weeks. Jongdae was woken up the next morning before sunrise by a loud thunder and loud cries.  
When Jongdae crawled to his feet, he gazed through the window and saw with horror that the storm had destroyed half of the village and the small harbour. The pub Jongdae had visited the day before was no more, only broken bits and pieces of furniture were scattered across the beach. Grey waves were washing broken and splintered pieces of wood ashore and took several pieces back with them into the open ocean.

The storm had not yet passed and the waves crashed loudly against everything they hit. Cold rain was pouring down. Jongdae grabbed his few belongings and ran to the beach. The jetty had been destroyed as well and as Jongdae watched the roaring ocean he thought that Minseok and his friends could have impossible survived this storm.  
This time there was no turning back. He would not go through the same pain of returning to a human being and survive the pain. But he could not bear it, he could not leave Minseok to die in the storm. And so he took a deep breath and ran into the waves. Once he lost the founding under his feet he plunged his head underwater. If he wanted to save Minseok he had to give him up forever.

His throat closed up and his legs hurt. But within a few minutes it was over and Jongdae shot easily through the water. Several objects were whirling through the water but Jongdae dodged them with ease. Minseok and his crew could not have gotten that far as the ship must have been small. Jongdae appreciated the abilities of merpeople as he could swim faster than any other creature of the sea. It did not take too long until he heard his fellow mermaids’ call and guided by their voices he quickly reached the location where the shipwrecked crew was holding onto a few pieces of their sinking ship. Thick fog was lying over the now calm waves.

Jongdae’s head broke silently through the surface of the water and he approached the men with the other mermaids. A whimper made him look to his right where an old man was clutching onto a broad piece of wood. He was bleeding badly and looked anxiously at them. It was not necessary to bewitch him, he was so weakened by his injury that he could hardly hold himself above the water. Jongdae scanned the other members of the crew but Minseok was not amongst them. He fought the burning desire and dived back underwater. The smell of blood drove him nearly insane and he felt how his body was pushing him back to the dying men. His thoughts were confused and hazy. He saw how three mermaids attacked three young sailors. They took their prey with them, quickly disappearing to still their thirst. Then from behind Jongdae there was a gurgling sound and a scream followed by the animalistic sharp sound of a mermaid.  
Jongdae whirled around and then he saw him. Maybe he even felt him before he saw him. He shot through the water towards the mermaid who held Minseok tightly and fought the struggling boy. Soon he would not be able to breathe anymore and she would have broken his bones and he would stop resisting. She was so occupied with Minseok who was very strong that Jongdae’s attack came as a surprise. Probably that was the only reason it was so easy for him to steal her prey. Mermaids did not share but they hardly stole each other’s prey.  
Jongdae’s hand glided under Minseok’s chin to feel for a pulse on his neck. Minseok moved feebly.

        “Mine”, Jongdae growled and he was almost shocked at the terrible sound that came from his mouth. She snarled but retreated to search for another prey.

Jongdae felt Minseok’s pulse growing weaker and so he quickly swam back to the surface and pulled his head above the water. Minseok gasped for air and coughed when Jongdae put him onto a floating piece of wood. But before he could do more for him, a mermaid screamed. Her voice echoed above the water, it was a high pitched melodious sound but Jongdae immediately understood the warning. Pirates. Sometimes they came to catch mermaids for fun.

       „They’ve got nets“, one mermaid shouted and dived.

Jongdae stared in horror as he watched how one got caught in the strong nets and got pulled on board. There was laughter. The pirates also drew the shipwrecked crew onto their ship and Jongdae saw how one of them was just pulling Minseok onto the ship.

       “Welcome to the crew”, one said roughly. Someone screamed in pain. The scream was followed by laughter and another scream.

This time it was Minseok who was screaming and the burning in Jongdae’s chest came back with its full might. Jongdae shot through the water and with a single beat of his fin he jumped out the water. He grabbed the ship’s rail and with his fin he slapped one of the pirates away. He grabbed Minseok and let himself fall backwards into the water before any of the pirates could properly react. Minseok was struggling hard but above the water Jongdae heard shots being fired and so he had to dive deep and swim quickly. Jongdae feared to break Minseok if he held him too tightly but he had to press him against his chest. As they fled the ship Jongdae began singing in the hope that it would calm Minseok. And indeed Minseok stopped fighting just moments before Jongdae decided it was safe enough to stop. For a moment Jongdae looked at Minseok and their eyes met just before Minseok fainted in his arms. He hung limply in Jongdae’s arms and Jongdae quickly broke through the surface. The ocean had not yet fully calmed itself. It was still in uproar but the storm had moved further away. For Jongdae the storm was not threatening, the waves carried him up and down. But he had to look for a safe place for Minseok.

       “Minseok!” he called him and was glad that his voice was back.

But the boy remained limp and did not react. In the distance a thunder growled and the wind howled. Jongdae swam towards a group of rocks, making sure Minseok’s head was above the water. He lifted Minseok up onto the rocks and then jumped next to him. His fin was still half hanging into the water.  
The rain and the waves splashed into their faces and Jongdae reached down to his hips. To his surprise just at the spot where his skin turned into thick scales there was something tied around his hip. It was the music box. The waves made his fin dance as he played the music box. The melody mixed with the rain and the thunder and Jongdae’s singing. Soon the rocks had been draped in thick fog and almost as if he had sung a lullaby of comfort for the ocean, it calmed down. It was almost silent when the music box stopped. Jongdae turned towards Minseok who was lying next to him. He bowed low above him and his chest was hurting. It reminded him of the burning sun that had burnt away his fin and turned him into a human again.  
But instead of finally sinking his teeth into Minseok’s soft skin, he touched Minseok’s face and kissed him. Jongdae closed his eyes; he was not able to cry and there were no words left, no language to sing in to ease the terrible pain in his chest. He would have given anything to die in Minseok’s place. He could breathe into him and press his own heart against Minseok’s as hard as he could, Minseok would still not come back. And Minseok had never know how desperately Jongdae had looked for him and sung of him, sung of a lost love that had never been one.

True love doesn’t exist, his sister had said. And he knew that Minseok’s body could heal his pain but he would never touch him. He would never harm him. In his insane grief he had allowed himself to steal a kiss. But he could not permit himself to do anything more to Minseok. He would keep Minseok with him forever and he began to understand why mermaids were so resentful and full of grief. And he knew why mermaids would never show anyone their well hidden treasures.  
But he still had a human heart that told him to bring Minseok back ashore where he belonged as a human even though he had called the ocean his home. So he lifted Minseok and glided through the water just as the clouds started to part.  
He swam slowly and carefully because every minute with Minseok was holy and precious. The yearning and desire would now never vanish. He could hold him as long as he wanted in his arms and kiss him but his decision had been made. And so he would carry this burning pain and curse with him.

The next island he reached was familiar to Jongdae. He recognized the high cliffs in the east at once and stopped.

        “This is my home, here I have lived”, he said quietly and lifted Minseok onto the rocks at the beach.

Not far away he saw the harbour from which he and his family had once left. And again there were many passengers climbing onto a small ship. 5 men and 3 women in beautiful dresses and sun umbrellas.

        “Brings ill luck to have a woman on board”, Jongdae murmured.

He frowned and spotted a cave further away from the harbour. He picked up Minseok again and swam towards the cave. The cave would never be completely flooded with water, it lay too high. But Jongdae could swim into it. A high room opened up almost like the inside of a cathedral. Jongdae lifted Minseok onto the rocky grounds that were covered in black sand. He took the music box and put it onto Minseok’s chest right above his heart where Jongdae’s pain lay and there was silence within Minseok. Jongdae touched Minseok’s cold skin for a last time and found his treasure which he would never reveal and forgot his human heart. Because after all, mermen are egoistic. Jongdae plucked a few flowers that grew between rocks and beach. An impossible place for flowers to grow. He brought the flowers back to the cave and covered Minseok’s body with them. Jongdae dived deep to ensure that no one else lived in the cave but it was empty. It would be his now. His home.  
The music box was still playing and it sounded dully underwater. Jongdae emerged once again to look at Minseok for a long time and when the music box stopped playing he dived back underwater. In the distance he heard the call of the other mermaids. But the pain in his chest was dull. He had not been hunting for a while. The waves closed above his head as he ignored the pain and he closed his eyes.

Breathing was easier under water.


End file.
